Center Stage 9/27/13: All Hail King Kanye!

 

Article written by: Nate Sherman

I don’t think there is anyone angrier in the world right now than Kanye West. To say that this man has anger issues is an understatement. This week alone Kanye has went on a Twitter tirade on popular late night host Jimmy Kimmel for spoofing his BBC interview and again trying to rid himself of his mortal enemies…the evil paparazzi. More often than not, Kanye not only goes overboard with his anger, but his inflated ego as well. Is our beloved Yeezus justified unleashing his unbridled fury and wrath on all who dare mock him and get all up in his personal space?

Kanye is a very complex man that not many of us may never come to understand despite him being a consistently prominent figure in the media. Kanye strikes me as the type of man that loves to be an entertainer and loves the spotlight, but doesn’t care too much for the fame that comes with it. Kind of ironic isn’t it? To him, fame is a hassle and a nuisance. It is because of his status that fame is something that he cannot escape and when it interferes with his personal life, it becomes a recipe for disaster. Kanye simply cannot avoid fame, which means he will always be angry; and we all know that an angry Yeezus is an entertaining Yeezus.

For this week’s Center Stage, I want to have a little fun with Kanye for no other reason other than for my and your personal entertainment. If Kanye West was the king of the world, what would he decree? Well, ladies and gentlemen I present to you: King Kanye’s 15 Commandments! Why15 you ask? Well, and I’m thinking like Kanye here, in Kanye’s mind 10 Commandments simply would not be enough to live up to King Kanye’s standards. If Kanye were to create a list of commandments for everyone to follow, which I wouldn’t put behind him at all, these are the Commandments that I feel that the great Yeezus would decree to better a world for HIMSELF and himself alone.

 

King Kanye’s 15 Commandments

1. Thou shalt not put other music before mine own.

2. All media types, ESPECIALLY the paparazzi, shalt not interfere with mine personal affairs.

3. Thou shalt buy mine albums on opening day to support mine ego.

4. Thou shalt not disrespect the Kardashians for they are mine adopted family whom I love dearly.

5. Thou shalt not mock my greatness for any comedic purposes. I am the greatest rock star and pop enigma EVER!

6. Thou shalt be grateful to see me perform live, for mine greatest pain is to not witness it mine self.

7.  If thou shalt cometh to mine concerts, you will succumb and marvel at mine glorious rants for they are EPIC and enlightening to mine legions of fans.

8. Leave me alone upon mine exit from any public venue or prepareth for a fight and/or lashing on Twitter.

9. Thou shalt not put signs on public walkways, for no other reason than to protect mine delicate jaw.

10. Thou shalt not film nor take pictures of mine beautiful daughter or you will be knocked northwest to last week.

11. Stoneth Ray J and you will make mine day.

12. Thou shalt support good music by buying everything GOOD Music.

13. Thou shalt not question mine fashion sense, for I am a trend setter. You must payeth100 dollars for a fresh white tee to line mine pockets.

14. Thou shalt like black people and condemn George Bush to the fiery flames of hell.

15. Thou shalt not interrupt acceptance speeches for thou aren’t me.

There you have it; Kanye’s 15 Commandments. Now can you all do me just one favor? Please don’t tweet this to him on Twitter. I saw how he did Jimmy Kimmel. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

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